OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
love makes seman taste better
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
