who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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