I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
