I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
