Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
