I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
