There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
