But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
