i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
