my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
the condom got lost in my hair
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
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