at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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