I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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