Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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