I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize