I want to stick my p in your. b.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize