i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
