too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have fence marks all over my body
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
