After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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