Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
