I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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