In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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