the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
