So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
