There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
