Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
