Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
