Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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