And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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