Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize