No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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