i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize