I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize