dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
