ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dicks are not precious.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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