I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
