JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
