How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
