New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he fucked my hip out of place.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
