dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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