The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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