Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
