Why does Corona taste like a burp?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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