just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
