a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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