All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
