3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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