and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize