I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
