Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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