i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
