why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
