I have demons in me.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
