Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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