i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
