There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize