She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
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