Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize