I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Panties = found
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
