Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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